How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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