It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
