the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she told me i tasted like america
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
