Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
