And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
