I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
