You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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