we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
