Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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