Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I party with great urgency now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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