Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
