I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
