we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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