then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
