so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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