Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to stick my p in your. b.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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