please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
