I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is Oprah even human
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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