Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
