This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
