she looked like the before picture.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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