just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
