My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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