this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
