I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
