Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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