i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
