tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
