I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
