Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
