I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
