so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
