I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
