If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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