Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
