K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
