I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
