Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
