Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
