My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
