so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
organizing the empties. That sober.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
