White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
only you would photoshop your dick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
