he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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