I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
