Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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