WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
