You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
