He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want nice things and good sex
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
