hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
