Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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