Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
In America we eat man semen.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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