That's intense
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
