I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
