So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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