Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
