Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You made out with two different species that night
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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