Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
