yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
