We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think your dad took our porno
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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