Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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