sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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