My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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