The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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