just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
