Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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