It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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