I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
