i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
