Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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