did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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